The Power of Reciprocated Love, by David Roberts
How many among us live, planning our lives as if we were young, but not the days of being carefree. I’m talking about being afraid of getting caught breaking a regulation. Whether we’re afraid of breaking a law or we’ve been overtaken by that fear, to become enforcers of other’s behavior, by having your internal clock set to enforcement of regulations, there’s Good News still available for you.
How many of us live in fear of being stopped by a law enforcement officer, who may have checked us on radar, where he’ll check to see if our license, insurance, and certificates to operate, are “legal”? I did, like many of us who once glanced down at the speedometer to make sure we were not breaking a law or regulation. Regulations and laws are very important to us all, intended to give a way to safely navigate traffic. When laws and regulations are taken as a warden, you’re already in prison.
- Should we stop at red lights?
- What if there’s no traffic around and it’s stuck on red?
- What if there’s no traffic around and you’re in a sketchy neighborhood?
I don’t know how you handle these things but some years ago, my wife and I lived in an inner-city home. The traffic lights at night would hold a very long time. I told her to treat those red lights as stop signs.
When we lose connection with the spirit of the law, we will embrace what seems right, because it’s according to the letter and we can all debate those things, which make us feel important, further fueling our egos.
“Concerned” would not be accurate to describe how I feel, seeing so many of those who once walked beside us, seemingly embrace fear driven motivation and a path where pleasure is gained by enforcement over others. Currently, we are all witnessing Russian aggression toward Ukraine and its people, in the light they desire to be free and established as their own country. We watch in horror over how evil Putin’s aggression is… but “our” aggression by demonstrating a heart of “enforcement of law” is equally sent to kill, steal and destroy, even if not full grown presently. Once we’re throwing in with that beast, receiving its mark, you’ve decided to make others go the same path, so being self-evident (to that depraved mind) you plot to make others do as you do, effectively creating clones to fit whatever vain imagination you’ve dreamed.
After several years of meditation and seeking answers from the Lord I feel a large degree of our divide would be bridged by a greater understanding of how we can live “with regulations” but not “by them”, living “under the spirit of those regulations”. It’s a lofty goal but it’s not the type goal we can start a go-fund-me campaign, purchasing television time; nor is it the type goal we can talk about without being demonstrators of the better way.
Jesus said He’d make us fishers of men; maybe instead of buying store bought bait, embrace you and I, we are the bait.
Our source of life, whatever source we give honor, is the baseline of letting others know who we are. Connected as one with the true source, it’s only natural we love our neighbors and are known for it, even when misunderstood and it’s those very things that may get us killed by those connecting to themselves as the source. They will try to destroy anything or anyone illuminating the intentions of their hearts, because what they’re doing is in secret and they are afraid they’ll be caught with their hands in the cookie jar.
Bearing fruit after its own kind: What every leader should know is found plain to see in nature.
You may be like most of us, who grew up eating apples, all while thinking it’s seeds could produce an identical apple. What we did not consider was the natural order of seed time and harvest. With very few exceptions, those apple seeds were produced from two trees yet grown on one tree, so if we planted the seeds from our apple, it would grow and pollinate with another tree, causing its apples to have within them seeds of a new variety. On nearly all varieties of apples, a seed will not produce a duplicate tree (a clone). If it did, it would be as terrible as if our children were identical to us.
Interestingly, we will soon be receiving our first shipment of apple tree rootstock. On our farm we initially matured several of our favorite apple trees. We had never done any farming and honestly, our Sparkleberry Farm was mostly for hobby, to provide a place for visitors and provide a real-life demonstration of a more simple life. Initially, we thought we’d have a larger orchard, where we would offer apples for sale, but neither have really panned out. After seeking wisdom, the past several years, only recently were we comfortable on a path we could move, yet not feel like we’re constantly laboring.
Earlier we had decided to make our apples available to others but since we had only a limited quantity of trees, and a limited number of apples annually, we had to come up with an alternate plan. This plan needed to meet our greater concern of guarding against anything that would cause us to spend all our time laboring. We chose the option we’re taking cuttings from our favorite trees, to graft onto high quality root stock. Essentially, we’ll soon be growing only a few select trees (replicas and cuttings of some of our favorites) but because their grafted it’ll instantly produce hundreds and hundreds of the same variety trees.
Honestly, our operation was and will remain quite small, but we will increase greatly in the ability to have a marketable product more immediately. As mentioned, the duplication of trees makes more sense from a marketing standpoint which seems the same reason many institutions would rather their leaders duplicate than fall to the ground and die. We know the seed that dies produces fruit, but we also know there is a desire to clothe vain imaginations.
For a business, I think it’s a fine business plan, one which can be scaled. As comfortable as I am with walking this out as a business it would be a terrible plan if anyone tried to teach their congregation or followers using this as the pattern, which is it appears much of what’s claiming to be the 21st Century Church has done. If you’re in the market for creating your own denomination, you’ll find your playbook by following along. Those coming after us aren’t clones. They’re set by God and the intention is we see eye to eye, before we go, so they can have all we have. This speaks of acceptance, pure love, and the formation of Christ in them, but it would not be powerful if seeing eye to eye were contingent on the two being identical. Seeing eye to eye with someone just like ourselves is like loving yourself; we can do that in a mirror. Understand, forced love isn’t love, like the trees we’re grafting to produce a predictable cloned fruit, but reciprocal love is free to grow. Reciprocal love has an ebb and flow to it, producing an outcome of something greater than we imagined because it changes both father and son (teacher and student).
A man’s mind plans his way [as he journeys through life], But the LORD directs his steps and establishes them. [Psa_37:23; Pro_20:24; Jer_10:23] (Prov.16:9AMP)
My favorite product made with apples is Apple Butter… but not just any apple butter. It is made with a specific variety of apple, and the perfect combination of sweetness/cinnamon.
The pattern used for denominations and religious institutions operate with the same basic idea as grafting specific apples. To grow a specific variety of apple, duplicated on hundreds of trees, it’s a simple as taking annual cuttings from the tree you desire reproducing; then, they’ll be grafted to make new trees. Technically, we could say it’s still one tree but growing on hundreds of rootstocks. The perfect apple, for whatever apple product you desire, starts with finding the perfect apple for your use. Each apple is evaluated for taste, texture, storability, tannin, acid, and other factors (cookability, cannable, etc). All these are weighed against a personal mission statement and plan, even if it’s in our sub-conscious, to fulfill either our idealistic dreams or His purpose in and through us.
Don’t be fooled by believing no one will know if you’re thrown in with the letter or spirit of the law. It’s plain to see as shaking is revealing everything that can be shaken… And the fires reveal it as well. Everything that’s not pure will not remain being exposed and burned away. We sons of God aren’t interested in vanity or the appetites of our bellies. Even though we may be aware, we aren’t concerned how we look or sound, or whether we are fitting within the letter of the law or the spirit of the law. Our eyes are fixed on Him, and He’s made certain we aren’t building on sand.
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. (Prov.3:5,6)
While meditating the other day, I saw a vision of a congregation. There was an auditorium packed with people and all the faces near identical. As I looked closer, many of those weren’t really the same, they were holding masks over their faces, the type of mask that’s a simple wooden stick, with a paper cut-out held in front of their faces. When the leader turned toward me, I could see all the people were identical to the mask he was holding in front of him. It was clear to me this is what we’ve done in our denominations and institutions in place of authenticity.
Whether it’s sin or something else, it’s easier to build “selfies” as institutions because we are lovers of ourselves. A religious organization, where its members are alike, is a denomination, or a living self-portrait of the name over their door. For the same reason homosexuality is an abomination to God, so is trying to clone ourselves. These congregational selfies are taken and shown around as advertising, soliciting others come join their cause. They’ll be in a convenient location… possibly multiple campuses. There will be something for everyone. There’s certainly nothing wrong with any of the actions of gathering but it just seems odd the reason we’re gathering. It seems we’re gathering so we can center our attention toward a stage. Wasn’t the early church centered around families and meeting needs?
There’s certainly nothing wrong with joining and serving in any institution we desire, the problem (at least in my mind) is that we’ve not yet come to the place we’re giving much of an alternative to seekers. Everyone called to serve in those places, God bless them! What I’m hungry to see is Jesus!
We “know” so much but somehow it gets stuck along the way, maybe because we’re stuck in our own middle. We have so much knowledge to have so little of His presence. Maybe we’re caught between two worlds and our attention is divided, and we’re not experiencing the freedom to occupy and live as free as our messages espouse. Maybe we all love selfies of ourselves and it’s just an ego thing but it’s never the desire Spirit is after, to create or be a clone out of any human.
Optics are so important to ego… but not so much to God, except when He speaks through types and shadows, which our human understanding scoffs. The only optics we’re mostly interested in are “selfies”. The world has gone “selfie-crazed”, with self-portraits and photographs on almost every phone and I can’t imagine we could “self-promote” more than we’re already doing. It’s resulted in a complete polarization of political parties and repositioning of nations, appearing to be approaching a critical mass, as never before experienced.
When growing apples, it’s nice to have a predictable and dependable outcome but in relationships, it’s a recipe for captivity, and it creates a hierarchy where it doesn’t belong.
My recommendation for each of us is not to use the methods of predictable, desired results, as your life plan.
Whether trying to make ourselves a “perfect apple” or trying to make others “perfect apples”, in either case, there is so much more to the life we’ve been gifted. Our relationships don’t define us and how someone else views us doesn’t either.
Stating the obvious, “We all prefer favorable outcomes” and “God already knew you and not just your outcome, before you were in your mother’s womb.”
Regardless the language one might choose, or the process required to enter ‘His will’, generally we are all quite aware evil is controlling many minds who are desperate and bound. It’s enough to make us ask if the world has gone mad, or if there are any peacemakers among us, is everyone looking for “deal-breakers” instead of “bridges”?
- Some who have joined forces are teaming up with the accuser of the brethren. Their god is their worldly appetite, their sensuality, and their vanity.
- But our God is Jesus Christ, and we are citizens of heaven; we eagerly wait for Him to completely refashion our earthly bodies, so they be like His glorious, resurrected body.
As we anxiously await each day’s news, maybe if we returned to “our conversation is in heaven, and not in earth” we might have a portal appear before us. If our Father’s Heart is to set captives free, maybe our faith will CREATE SOME NEWS, or at least it would appear new to everyone else. There’s a difference in a conversation being “in earth” and “in heaven”.
For our conversation is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body, according to the working whereby he is able even to subdue all things unto Himself. (Philippians 3:20,21KJV)
Our conversation is in heaven, while we are in our earthen vessels. If we just think about that a moment, that alone is amazing!
“Jesus is subduing all things unto Himself”
In Mark 9:14-27 the Bible tells the story of a father whose son had unclean spirits; the boy was sick and Jesus gives an example of what taking authority, subduing all things to Himself might look like. The father came to Jesus and the boy was healed, but only after the father cried out for Jesus to help him overcome his unbelief. Shortly after, Jesus’ disciples ask Him why they couldn’t heal the boy, and I suppose His answer reveals where we are…
The disciples’ conversation was ‘in earth’ and not where it would later be, “in heaven”.
He replied, “This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting.” (Mark 9:29 KJV)
We remember the story. The boy got better when Jesus appeared. The disciples couldn’t remove the unclean spirit, even though they were asked. Was there something magic about the person of Jesus? Was it His flesh that was required?
Divine Order:
And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death. (Rev.12:11KJV)
My family has just passed the first anniversary of my dad’s passing. For the first 30 years or so of my life, I primarily knew my dad (and he knew me) after the flesh, and we clashed. Afterward, being broken, I saw that he was simply a man, who was my dad, loving me the very best he could. I discovered it was me that blocked the reciprocation of love between us, by not accepting my father as a man, who had his own life experiences and came from parents and situations unique to him. He could’ve loved me in the flesh as well as any dad, but it wouldn’t have made a difference if my heart had never reciprocated. He could have also been the worst dad ever, but I found the power of reciprocated love. It changed me and him. My dad was a rather forceful disciplinarian in my youth. He had a desire I grow and become something he had in mind, which wasn’t a bad thing.
No one knows the twists and turns of a road until traveled:
An individual will have multiple relationships during their life. In that time, they will be described differently by each of those people. If there are three children, there will be three unique descriptions. If there are 12 grandchildren, there will be as many descriptions. And of course, they’ll be described differently from each person they were intimate. Out of all those descriptions, none are describing who they are, nor can we add them to acquire a complete understanding of who they are. The bottom line is that you are who you are and if God loves you, who am I to disagree?
- The problem he faced was he didn’t have the ability to guide me to the place of adulthood since he’d never met me until I was born. He often became frustrated, which is completely normal. Every parent faces the issue that they have never met the child they are raising and if they had 15 children, don’t assume any two will be the same because they won’t be.
- The problem I faced was that I was the child experiencing the portion of my dad I first knew. All I could see was his frustration when he became frustrated, and it looked to me as though I was worthless. I heard those words continually, even though there were so many tender moments.
His frustration was actually the presenting problem for his mourning my not knowing how to be a man, which is what he desperately wanted. We were in a predicament… the same predicament as everyone else on the planet. Some of us handle it better and some are like me, who break a lot of dishes in the china shop, while going through.
The Power of Reciprocated Love:
Through breaking, I began to no longer see my dad as the person I’d met and hurt me deeply, but it wasn’t because I was looking at him… it was when I stopped looking at him. As I started to find my place in the world, accepting personal responsibility and participating as my own person, he also began to see there was more to me. The bottom line is that God allowed some very painful circumstances to wipe me out. Through this I didn’t just stop seeing him from my narrow perspective and I didn’t go around asking everyone about their experiences either. What I did was to accept him. I saw him and wanted to get to know this man. I loved him. He honestly did the very best he could, and I promise you, there were far more good times than bad. As typical with anyone in ‘fight or flight’ mode, I previously was caught like a deer in headlights, not knowing what to do or where to go. It was only being broke that I found life. It broke every chain in me and the salesman that I was, who marketed everything in my transactional life. I remember it like it was yesterday, but as I began to grow, so was he. My wife (Candace) and I were married on April 27, 2002. After our wedding, we did a fake leave for our honeymoon. We wanted to spend time with all our friends and family, some of whom had traveled quite a way. It touched my heart so deeply that there was a group from a church I’d served at who brought their church van, filled with people who love us and wished us well. We wanted to spend time with all these folks and the photographer also wanted pictures of us leaving, so we did a ‘fake leave’. Everyone knew this except somehow my dad didn’t catch on to what was happening, and I’m glad he didn’t.
As we began to leave, this man who was strong and athletic… who had been approached to play football for Coach Paul Bear Bryant but he didn’t have the grades… raised country and poor… worked hard with his hands… breaking down tires from wheels, with a sledgehammer and flat bar… this man comes running across the parking lot and throws his arms around me, telling me “I love you and I’m so proud of you son”. It’s possible he told me that a time or two previously, but I can’t remember a single other time I ever heard this man emote toward me with any real vulnerability. Now, my dad was tender and mourned losses, etc, but just like is natural with all of us, we know people from the experiences we share with them. I love how God allowed the whole process to be setup and unfold; he said he was proud of me after I got past the place of needing it but had I been raised another way, I wouldn’t have went to God so deeply to receive these basic needs. My testimony is this: the time previous our embrace, I had been in the presence of God and angels, where they ministered to me, restoring me to wholeness. I’m very happy we both reciprocated the love we were able to understand because it abounded beyond anything I’d ever heard describe and I still haven’t.
As I stopped trying to fix him, our love began to abound, and we ceased being so judgmental about the way each other appeared. I can only imagine how God was working on him. Even though we wouldn’t have used this language, we began to look through new lenses instead of trying to make something happen through old, borrowed wine skins. Thankfully I once knew my dad after his flesh, but later I knew him as God knew him, “WHILE” he was in his flesh. We grew in this, the most powerful type of love, as we began to see eye to eye.
“So from now on we regard no one from a human point of view [according to worldly standards and values]. Though we have known Christ from a human point of view, now we no longer know Him in this way.” (2 Cor 5:16AMP)
Walk in His ordered steps and exercise what you know instead of letting it puff up. Love is the interpretation of all tongues and languages.
God created the world, giving each of us the freedom to either reciprocate His Love or not but we already know when Love is not reciprocated, it won’t weaken or diminish at all, because God is Love! When Love IS reciprocated it blows us away; the ebb and flow between the honest giving and receiving of Love moves us higher and higher. Reciprocating Love begins by Loving God as He loves us and since there may be no greater position to occupy than a Son, each of us are free to test what I’m sharing. Go ahead… try reciprocating His Love toward Him, especially as you begin to realize He’s in us all.
Remember, Jesus said He’d make us fishers of men; so instead of buying store bought bait, embrace you and I, we are the bait. This means YOU ARE THE BRIDGE.
In Christ,
David
David Roberts is an apostle and ministry son of Dr. Mark Hanby. He serves as Executive Director of Restoration House Ministries- You may contact him through his website: http://restorationhouse.com/contact-us
Leave a Reply